


A Year in Life

by whispered_story



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: First Time, Fluff, Living Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 12:52:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4836113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his break-up with Sandy, Jared is doing fine. He doesn't need to rebound (like Chad thinks he does) and he isn't falling apart (like everyone on set thinks he is). He has his dogs, his job, and Jensen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Year in Life

Spring feels long and gruesome, the weeks dragging on and on. He works less hours on _Friday the 13th_ than he does on _Supernatural_ , but it's more exhausting. It's nice to be closer to his family, to eat the food he grew up with and enjoy the Texas heat on his skin, but Jared is ready for the mild weather of Vancouver and the long, long days on the set of _Supernatural_. He's ready to leave the last few months and the heartache of a broken engagement behind him.

Getting on the plane to Vancouver feels like an absolution. Like his reward for soldiering through the last months.

Jensen's waiting for him at the airport. He's wearing a Vancouver Canucks cap and sunglasses and he's holding up a cardboard sign that says _Trey Lipton_. The fucker. 

Jared breaks out into a grin and punches Jensen in the arm as soon as he's close enough, before pulling him into a tight hug. Jensen's baseball cap digs into his neck and his cologne is making Jared's nose twitch, but he holds on longer than socially acceptable for two Texan boys.

"Can't believe the first familiar face I see has to be your ugly mug," he says, finally pulling back.

Jensen takes off his sunglasses, letting them hang from the v of his t-shirt, and shoots Jared a smile, one of those damn million dollar ones that has everyone swooning at his feet. "Good to see you, too," he says and then lets his eyes travel up and down Jared's chest before snorting. "Are you trying to find out how buff you can get before you stop fitting through doors, Sasquatch?"

Jared flexes his arms and puffs out his chest with a smirk. "Nah, I just like making you feel tiny and fragile, like the itty-bitty delicate flower that you are," he replies. He reaches out, gives Jensen's own bulging upper arm a squeeze. " _Cute_."

"I am. Just ask the internet," Jensen says and swats Jared's stomach. "Come on, car's waiting outside. And I got beer chilling in the fridge at home."

+

Home is a nice, spacious house with a big backyard for the dogs. Until recently, it was a place Jared integrally linked with Sandy: her make-up scattered around the sink, the fresh flowers she liked to put on tables, her laundry mixed with his.

All of those things will be missing now, and it's the one thing Jared has been dreading about coming back. L.A. is worse, because their house there had truly been home base, but Vancouver was a close second.

He steps into the house, but the cold and empty feeling he's been expecting isn't there. Harley and Sadie, driven up by a friend of his a couple of days earlier, greet him at the door with wagging tails and excited barks. It smells like chilli and Jensen's shoes are in the hallway. Jared lets the dogs slobber all over his face, his hands buried in their short fur, and breathes a little easier.

+

They have a few days before filming starts, and Jared talks – _bullies_ , Jensen claims – Jensen into buying things for his new bedroom.

They get the big things out of the way first—bed, dresser, and closet, even though Jensen claims he doesn't need them—before Jared drives them downtown to hit some smaller shops. Jared makes Jensen buy sinfully expensive sheets and bedding, insists on a toothbrush holder and soap dish, and then tackles decoration.

"What's wrong with a good old beer can tower?" Jensen asks, as Jared inspects picture frames in a small corner store.

"Well, Jensen," he says in his best snotty voice. "There comes a day when you're just too old to live like a frat boy. Especially if you've never been to college."

"I went to Hollywood and made it big. Way more impressive, fucker." 

Jared chooses two frames in simple, dark wood. "To people who think dumb pretty boys are impressive, sure," he says and then tacks on, "Fuckee."

"Funny coming from a guy who's just as dumb, but tragically less pretty than I am," Jensen retorts and pulls out his wallet with a sigh. 

Back at home, Jared puts a picture of the two of them into one of the frames and puts it on Jensen's dresser. Days later, Jensen puts one of his family in the other, but the picture of the two of them stays.

+

"You need to move on, man," Chad says over the phone.

Jensen is out, running errands or meeting people, and Jared called Chad mostly because he's bored, but also because they didn't see each other this break like they usually do. 

"I'm moving on," Jared replies, and grabs a rag from the sink. He wipes down the already clean counter, and thinks if he was a dog, his hackles would be rising right now. 

"Yeah? Have you hooked up with anyone since you broke up?"

"It's only been a couple of months," Jared points out. 

"Well, that's a couple of months too long, Jaybird," Chad says. "Go out, find a hot girl and take her home."

"You know, I'm not taking advice from a guy who didn't even wait until his honeymoon was over to fuck another girl," Jared snaps. He instantly regrets it, but the words are out there and Chad is uncharacteristically quiet.

The conversation is stilted after that and they mumble their ways through goodbyes and hang up. Jared throws the rag down, annoyed with himself. He cleans the rest of the kitchen to distract himself, and then sorts his DVD collection, making mental notes of movies he needs to buy for him and Jensen even though they both probably have copies in L.A.

When Jensen comes home, he makes a beeline for the kitchen and Jared follows. He sits on a chair at the counter and watches Jensen pull out ingredients for a sandwich. "How was your day, dear?" Jensen finally asks, shooting him an amused grin while cutting a tomato into slices.

Jared sighs. "I'm an asshole."

Jensen rips open the package of sliced ham, pops a piece into his mouth, and nods while chewing. "I've been telling you for years."

"Fuck you," Jared says. He steals a slice of tomato, avoiding Jensen's hand trying to slap his away.

"So, what did you do?" Jensen finally asks, not looking up from what he's doing.

"Insulted Chad."

Jensen rolls his eyes. "That's it? It's Chad; the guy is probably used to being insulted."

Jared shrugs, lips tugged down into a frown. "He's more sensitive than you think."

"Buy him a six pack and a box of condoms and you'll be forgiven," Jensen suggests, putting the final piece of toast on top of his sandwich. He picks up a knife and cuts it into two triangles, and hands one to Jared.

Jared takes a bite, chews thoughtfully, and pulls a face. "There are no pickles in here."

"Pickles are the food of the devil, Jared," Jensen intones.

Jared takes another bite and grins, then says with a mouthful, "What did pickles ever do to you, Jenny? Do you want to talk about it, work it out?"

"You know, you really _are_ an asshole," Jensen says, and slaps Jared over the head. Jared coughs, nearly swallowing his food the wrong way, and Jensen laughs while rubbing his back.

Chad is wrong. Jared is doing fine, and he doesn't need to date or go out and get laid. He has all of this – Jensen, his job, his dogs – and, at least for now, it's all he really needs to be happy.

+

Back on set, everyone treats Jared differently. There are mumbled condolences and encouraging pats on the shoulder and Jared is sick of it before they've even started shooting.

"It gets better," Kelly in make-up says to him as she covers his face with foundation. Jared hates the way it makes his skin feel cakey, and he hates that everyone seems to think he's falling apart.

"She was way too pretty for him anyway," Jensen chimes in. He's swiveling around in one of the chairs, waiting his turn, and grinning widely.

Jared lobs a hair brush at him, which Jensen ducks. "Says the guy who can't keep a girl to save his life."

"Nah, they can't keep me," Jensen says and waves a hand down his body with a wink. "This much awesomeness can't be tied down, Jay." 

"Slut," Jared says and tries to sit still when Kelly chides him. 

Jensen huffs. "I'm fun and adventurous. You're boring." 

Jared twitches and flips Jensen off, watching him through the mirror. "I'll show you boring." 

Jensen waggles his eyebrows, a lewd smirk forming on his lips. He's sprawled out in the chair, legs spread apart, all relaxed and cool. "That supposed to be a threat, Padalecki?" he asks, voice low.

Jared is glad the make-up hides his flush, an image of Jensen spread out in his bed, Jared showing him how just not boring he is, flashing through his head. "Why? You wish it was a promise?" he replies, and silently congratulates himself for not sounding flustered. 

The next time anyone doubts his acting skills, Jared is going to refer them back to this moment.

+

The first week of filming wraps. Jared calls Sandy on Friday night, sitting on the bed in his room.

They've talked sporadically over the last couple of months; at first there were things to organize, belongings to split up, and then once or twice they just did it to check up on each other. There's no bad blood between them. It's been an amicable break-up, though far from painless. She was the girl he thought he wanted to marry and for the longest time, he thought he would. He'd pictured it all in his head: the way she'd look in her dress, the endless happiness they'd feel that day. It's hard to let go of wanting those things, even after they both admitted they weren't right for each other anymore. 

"Everyone thinks I'm an idiot for letting you go," he tells her now, only half joking.

Sandy sighs, sounding both amused and sad. "I miss you too, Jared," she finally says, and Jared's proud when he doesn't start crying.

+

Filming is different that season. There are some new people in the crew and in the cast, too.

Genevieve is nice and Jared flirts with her harmlessly for a few weeks, before he finally decides to ask her out. They go to dinner twice in early October, but it feels more like hanging with a buddy than dating. They talk about work and Hollywood and drink wine. After the second date they agree they're better off as friends, and the next time they go out, they sit in a bar and drink beer while Jared regales her with stories from set that involve way too much farting and flexing muscles. Genevieve laughs and eats chicken wings with her fingers, and Jared wishes he could fall in love with her.

Misha, unlike Genevieve, is an enigma. Jared can't figure him out and is both fascinated and confused by him. It keeps him and Jensen entertained though, and Jensen tells him stories from set that Jared wasn't there for and they swap theories about Misha that get wilder and wilder. By early fall, Jared is half convinced Misha is either some kind of robot alien or a really weird special agent, infiltrating the set of _Supernatural_.

"Like Miss Congeniality," Jared tells Jensen. "Only different."

Jensen laughs so hard his eyes tear up, but he doesn't completely reject the idea.

Maybe the hardest part of the new season, though, is that Sam and Dean's relationship gets more and more complicated. Sam is getting darker and Dean is fucked up, and he and Jensen try their hardest to keep things light on set, as well as between them. Jared, who's always been the kind of guy to put a lot of effort into maintaining friendships, makes plans for them almost weekly: from a simple dinner, to hitting the best hiking spots around Vancouver, and an overnight trip to a cabin a little farther up north. 

Things between them are good, maybe better than ever, but Jared still has an irrational fear that the tension between Sam and Dean will translate to tension between Jared and Jensen. 

Mid-October, just after Jared's failed second date with Genevieve, Danneel comes up for a visit and Jensen is getting them a second round of beers from the kitchen when she turns to Jared and says, "You know, you don't need to try that hard with Jensen. I don't think even a crowbar could pry that guy away from you." 

Jensen returns moments later, looking happy and relaxed, and Danneel smiles at him. Jared feels reassured and glad Danneel is there. But then they head to bed a couple of hours later and Jared lies awake in his bed, knowing exactly what is going on two floors down in Jensen's room.

Danneel and Jensen have had a casual friends with benefits arrangement for a while now, and Jared never thought it was his business. Now, he wants to stalk down there and grab Jensen, growling "Mine, mine, mine." 

It never bothered him before, but before he had Sandy. Now, Jensen is there instead of her, having breakfast with him and talking about how their day was over dinner, and Jared maybe feels a bit possessive. 

He needs to learn how to share.

The next morning, ashamed for his feelings, he makes a huge breakfast for the three of them and hugs Danneel extra tight before she leaves for the airport.

+

"She's an awesome girl," Jared says that afternoon, once Danneel has gone. He has his legs propped up on the coffee table and a beer in his hand.

"She is," Jensen agrees. 

"Gorgeous, too," Jared says, trying to sound casual. 

Jensen snorts. "Dude, you have her number. You can arrange your own dates. I'm not going to call her for you." 

"I'm not – " Jared starts and then huffs, "Shut up, _Jensen_."

+

A week later, Jared flies to L.A. for the weekend. He has lunch with his manager and then calls up Chad to see if he's in town. A couple hours after that, he shows up at Chad's house with a bottle of whiskey; Chad pats him on the back and all is forgiven.

Later, Jared gets drunk enough to make out with a girl in the dark corner of the bar they're at. She's pretty and sweet and has no idea who he is. Jared presses her against the wall, one hand in her soft hair and the other sliding under the hem of her shirt. She makes encouraging noises into his mouth, pushes her body up against his, and for a moment Jared lets his half-hard cock press against her belly. 

Then he stops.

He buys her a drink and apologizes, before he finds Chad and tells him he's ready to leave.

"Dude, you could have hit that," Chad says out on the sidewalk.

"Well, I didn't want to _hit_ that," Jared replies, with as much sarcasm as his drunken ass can muster. 

Chad snorts. "I bet it's because you want to bone Ackles." 

"Chad!" Jared yelps, and Chad laughs. 

"What? Dude, everyone wants to bone Ackles." It doesn't make Jared feel better.

+

While Jared was in Los Angeles, Jensen decorated the house for Halloween.

Jared's man enough to admit that he yelps a little when he goes up the front porch and there's a skeleton dangling to his right, plastic hands brushing against his arms. 

Jensen must have heard the cab pull up, because he opens the door less than a second later and laughs his ass off.

"Not funny," Jared mutters and Jensen laughs harder.

"It kinda was, wuss. Oh man, I wish I had installed a camera."

Jared pushes Jensen a little as he walks past him into the house. "Asshole," he says.

Jensen closes the door and grins. "I missed you, too," he says, and pulls Jared into a quick hug, patting his back.

Jared walks through the kitchen and living-room carefully, looking out for anything else that might jump at him. He knows how much Jensen loves Halloween and scaring people, so he keeps his guard up throughout dinner. 

When they go to bed, Jared's loose and relaxed from a few beers though, and the fake – or so Jared hopes – bloody handprints on the tiles of his shower nearly give him a heart attack. He curses Jensen, and then curses him again when the plastic spider under his bedsheets makes him jump and bash his knee into the bed frame hard enough to leave a bruise.

+

The cast and crew of Supernatural pride themselves in throwing one of the best Halloween parties in Vancouver. It helps that they have the props and the costumes, and more than a few of them are horror genre nuts.

One of the film sets gets turned into a temporary chamber of horrors for the night and catering is allowed to go crazy with seasonable snacks and drinks.

This year, Jensen dresses up as a – seriously creepy, as far as Jared is concerned – serial killer, walking around with a bloody machete the props department got for him. Jared changes his own plans last minute and dresses up as a corpse with a long bloody gash along his throat. 

As the night progresses, he gets pretty damn tipsy and hangs off Jensen all night, telling everyone Jensen killed him while Jensen laughs and brandishes his machete. 

"So, you guys coordinated costumes. Very couple-y," Misha notes, sounding amused and thoughtful. 

"That'd be one fucked up relationship," Jensen snorts.

Misha gives them a long look, then leaves to get another drink.

"Weirdo," Jared says, drawing the word out, but he sounds more awed than anything. He can't get over it. Misha is like a puzzle you desperately want to finish even though you know some of the pieces are missing.

Jensen pats his arm and holds up his plate of food for Jared. "Eat. Soaks up the alcohol," he says.

+

The last Sunday before Thanksgiving break, Jared makes a big pot of coffee and blueberry pancakes. He slathers them in butter and maple syrup, and takes everything down to Jensen's bedroom on a tray.

"Breakfast!" he declares as he saunters into the room, and waits until Jensen's eyes are open before putting the tray on the bed. He sits down next to him, stretches his legs out, and pours them coffee. 

"What is this?" Jensen mumbles and sits up slowly.

"Breakfast," Jared repeats. 

Jensen looks suspicious, but eventually he picks up a fork and digs it into the stack of pancakes. 

Jared waits until Jensen has eaten his first bite and makes an appreciative noise before he clears his throat. "So, I was thinking." 

"Oh god." 

Jared kicks Jensen, though he doubts Jensen feels it through the covers. "Shut up, this is serious," he says. 

Jensen looks at him with his lips quirking up and mimes zipping his mouth shut. 

"Christmas is coming up." 

"No." Jensen shakes his head. 

"What?" Jared asks, affronted. 

"Whatever your plan is, I'm not on board." 

"Will you at least hear me out first?" Jared asks, frowning. Jensen gives him another look, but he stuffs his mouth with pancakes and waves at Jared to continue talking. "As I was saying. I was thinking that once we get back from Thanksgiving, we need to buy decorations. For Christmas. So, if there's anything you have in L.A. or back at your parents that you want us to put up, you should have it shipped here soon." 

"Do I look like I have a whole storage room full of blow-up reindeer and Santa figurines?" 

Jared scowls. 

Jensen deflates and his voice is a little gentler when he asks, "What's up, Jay?" 

"Nothing. I just thought it'd be nice, decorating together," Jared says. 

"Well, just get whatever you have in storage and we'll see what we can do." 

"I don't have much," Jared admits. "Sandy kinda bought most of the stuff we had the last couple of years." 

"Oh." 

"Forget it," Jared says, and Jensen nudges him. 

"We'll buy some new stuff. New memories and all that, right?" He sounds apologetic, but Jared just shrugs. 

"We don't have to," he says, half sulking now. 

"I just said we will. I reserve the right to veto anything ugly and tacky." 

"Are you saying I like ugly and tacky things?" Jared asks and Jensen grins. 

"That's _exactly_ what I'm saying." 

"Huh," Jared says, "Explains why I like you."

+

Thanksgiving is too much food, alcohol, and Padalecki levels of cheerfulness and exuberance.

It's the first holiday in a while that Sandy isn't there, and that's a bit weird, but Jared's family doesn't comment on it. They don't ask Jared if he's doing okay, don't watch him carefully for signs of lingering heartbreak, and it's pretty much like any other holiday. 

Jared makes a mental note to buy extra kickass presents for them for Christmas this year.

On Thanksgiving, long after dinner and dessert, Jared is having a late snack of leftover pumpkin pie while chatting to his mother about filming when his phone alerts him to a new message. 

_I'm grateful for you, asshat,_ it reads and Jared chuckles.

He replies, _Are you drunk, dumbass?_

It takes a moment for his phone to chirp again and Jared opens Jensen's message, which simply says, _Maybe._ He grins. He types out _I love you, too, Schmackles!_ and hits send, setting his phone down on the table next to his plate.

When he looks up, he finds his mother watching him with a small smile on her face.

"What?" Jared asks, and she shakes her head.

"Nothing. You just look happy," she says and waves her hand at the phone. "A special friend?"

"Mama," Jared groans.

"What? I can't ask?"

Jared rolls his eyes. "No, you can. That was just Jensen though."

"Oh. Well, I guess he would qualify as a special friend, wouldn't he?" his mother replies, a teasing lilt in her voice.

Jared snorts. "If by special you mean touched in the head, yeah, sure. It'd break his heart that you think that, though."

His mother sighs, but gives him a fond look. "He's a good man, your Jensen," she says as if Jared didn't say anything. "Very sweet and so charming. Handsome, too."

"Mama, please," Jared begs.

She holds up her hand. "Let me say this, Jared; he makes you very happy. You've had a rough break, but you still seem more at ease now than you've been in all the years you lived out in Los Angeles."

Jared shrugs. "Maybe," he admits. His mother smiles again and crosses the counter, kissing his temple. She brushes his hair back with one hand, the way she did when Jared was a kid.

+

The end of Thanksgiving brings the start of the Christmas season. Filming doesn't leave much time for festive activities, though some holiday decoration does make it onto set.

At the house, he and Jensen put up lights and a tree. Jensen, despite his initial disinterest, artfully places candles around the house – big pillar ones on wooden plates, sometimes with small twigs – and he puts a wreath on the door and a center piece on the coffee table. 

Jared, for all his enthusiasm about the holidays, kind of sucks at decorating. He tends to go overboard, but Jensen has an eye for these sort of things. Most of the time, he doesn't bother, but Jared knows Jensen is scarily talented at making things look nice and tasteful. He's made him wrap Christmas and birthday presents for the last couple of years now, and usually drags him out when he needs to shop for his mother or sister, or in the past, Sandy.

Jared contributes by buying eggnog and baking cookies with Genevieve.

"Jensen likes gingersnaps and anything with nuts," Jared says as they pick out recipes together and write down a grocery list in his trailer during lunch break. 

Genevieve arches an eyebrow at him. "Well, then we've got to make sure we bake those."

"Oh, shut up," Jared replies. There've been way too many people commenting on him and Jensen lately, even though there's no such thing as him and Jensen other than friendship. Jared expected the teasing and innuendo when Jensen moved in, but he thought it would die down after a couple of weeks. He also didn't think his friends and family would be the most vocal about the whole thing. He guesses they can tell that Jared, maybe, has a bit of a crush on Jensen.

"I think it's cute," Genevieve says, appeasing.

"We're just friends." Genevieve looks at him with amusement. "We _are_."

"Do you want to be more, though?"

Jared sighs. "No. Maybe. I don't know? He's..." He trails off and waves his hand around helplessly.

"Is it weird?" he asks after a moment. "Cause we dated."

Genevieve smiles and shrugs. "We had dinner twice and let's face it, even then we knew it wasn't going anywhere."

"Well, I'm not sure Jensen and I could go anywhere either, even if I figure out if I want us to."

"For what it's worth," Genevieve says, "you two have more chemistry than most of the couples I know."

Jared sighs. "Yeah, maybe. But he's my best friend."

"You know, people always say stuff like that as if being friends first is a bad thing," Genevieve says. "I get that it can be risky, but isn't being in love with the person who's also your best friend kind of the best thing that could happen? You're best friends with them _because_ you think they're awesome and like them better than other people, right?"

"You're only making me feel more confused, tiny one." Genevieve pats his shoulder, smirking.

+

They bake the cookies on a Saturday. One baking sheet after the other is put into the oven, and the whole house smells like sugar and butter and spices.

Jensen wanders in a few times, watching them and stealing cookies.

When they're done, bowls and spoons and cookie cutters clutter every available surface and the whole kitchen seems to be covered in a fine sheen of flour. 

Jensen helps them clean up, complaining about adults behaving like children and messy people. He's only appeased when Genevieve makes them hot chocolate spiked with whiskey.

+

December in Vancouver is cold, though not freezing, and pretty goddamn wet. The first year up in Canada, Jared had visions of snow and winter wonderland, which were shattered pretty quickly. It's damp and gray and generally unpleasant.

A week before filming ends for the year, Jared is out walking the dogs after coming home from set when the sky suddenly gets dark and soon heavy rain is sheeting down. Jared is dressed for the cold, but nothing like this, and he's drenched and shaking when he finally makes it home. 

Jensen opens the door before Jared even reaches the porch. 

"Jesus, Jared," he says. "I was two minutes away from getting in the car and looking for you." 

"Sorry, rain surprised me," Jared manages, teeth shattering. He's freezing, his jeans clinging to his skin and water sloshing around in his shoes. He ushers the dogs into the house before him, wincing when they shake themselves, drops of water flying everywhere. 

"Harley, Sadie," Jared warns, but there's no heat in his voice. The house is warm and dry, and Jensen closes the door behind them. 

"I'll get them dry," Jensen says. "You wait here for me and get out of those wet clothes."

Jared nods obediently, knowing he's just going to make a mess if he goes any further into the house. Jensen leads the dogs down the hall into the laundry room, and Jared starts stripping. It takes a while to peel off the clothes, and he drops them on a heap on the ground, wincing at the loud splats they make as they hit the floor.

Jensen comes back, carrying a towel that must have just come out of the dryer. The dogs are following behind him but they turn and run for the living-room. 

Jared is down to his boxer-briefs and t-shirt, which is only wet at the neck. Goosebumps are covering his entire body. Jensen wraps the towel around Jared's shoulders, bringing the ends up to pat Jared's face and hair dry. 

"Let's get you dry, and then warm," Jensen murmurs, and Jared helps him as best as he can, his fingers stiff from the cold. Once the worst of it is done, Jared bundles up in a blanket on the couch and Jensen makes him hot tea with honey and lemon.

"Better?" Jensen asks, sitting down next to him once Jared has the mug in his hands. 

"I'm good," Jared says. He takes a sip of tea, sighing. 

Jensen rests a hand on the back of Jared's neck, and Jared leans into the touch. "Sorry I worried you," he mumbles and Jensen gives him a lopsided smile. 

"I kinda do that all the time anyway, doofus."

+

Christmas is a bit like Thanksgiving, only with presents and even more cheer. At least in the Padalecki household.

Jared uses the time to hang out with his brother and sister, play with his nieces, and read a little.

For New Year's, he flies to L.A. and meets up with Jensen. They go to a party a friend of a friend of a friend is hosting. The place is already crowded by the time they get there, and Jared recognizes a fair number of people. It's a bit more Hollywood than Jared likes, but he mingles with people he knows from auditions and past projects, catching up with acquaintances. Out in Vancouver, it's easy to lose contact with the Hollywood scene, and the more small talk he has to suffer through, the more he's reminded of why he's glad he's not living in Los Angeles full-time anymore. Here, everyone knows about everyone and even with those you get along with, there's an underlying sense of competition that, more often than not, makes it hard to form real friendships.

It's not a bad night though. Danneel and Steve are there, and Chad drops by for an hour before moving on to some other party. Jared has a few drinks, eats his weight in canapés, and he and Jensen keep drifting back to each other. They both have the same low tolerance for Hollywood bullshit, and it's one of the things Jared appreciates most about their friendship.

"If I have to listen to one more person telling me they went on this top secret audition for this very amazing project I will kill myself," Jensen mutters to him after a few more hours. "At least 90% of these people are making all these stories up."

"Well, they can't all have their own shows," Jared tells him, poking Jensen in the side.

Jensen grimaces. "A show on the CW. Oh, well, that's _nice_ , Jensen," he mocks in a falsetto voice and Jared laughs.

"You could show them how fucking nice your bank account looks. That'd shut most of them up," he says, and Jensen grins, leaning his weight into Jared's for a moment. 

"That is why you're my favorite person here tonight," he says. Jared beams a little too brightly.

Shortly before midnight, Jared finds himself out on the deck with Jensen, people crowding outside with them to see the fireworks. When the clock strikes they toast each other with their champagne classes and Jared hugs Jensen. 

"Happy New Year's," Jared murmurs into his neck and Jensen squeezes him extra tight, holding on a moment longer than necessary.

They take a cab back together to Jensen's place a couple of hours later, while the party is still in full swing. They're both a little tipsy from the champagne, but still clear-headed enough to stop in Jensen's kitchen to have some water. Jensen looks happy and relaxed, leaning against the counter, and he smells faintly of cigarette smoke. Jared leans in close and kisses him on the cheek.

"What was that for?" Jensen asks, laughing softly.

Jared shrugs, "We didn't kiss anyone at midnight. What kinda New Year's would it be without that?" 

Jensen smiles at him, all sweet and fond, and then he leans up, hands on Jared's shoulders, and presses his lips to Jared's for a moment. "Happy New Year's, Jay," he says when he pulls away, still smiling. Jared grins at him, his hands on Jensen's waist and he keeps them there until they decide to head to bed a few minutes later.

+

They don't talk about it the next day.

Part of Jared wants to, and at the same time he's absolutely terrified. So when Jensen gets up around noon and he seems fine – happy and relaxed – Jared stays silent. 

Maybe Jensen is giving him an out, or maybe Jensen doesn't want more. Jared can't be sure, but he doesn't dare to take the first step, to put himself out there like that.

It wasn't a real kiss anyway, more of a peck, and he doesn't want to blow the whole thing out of proportion. They were tipsy and in a good mood and it might not have meant anything. Jensen, certainly, isn't making a big deal out of it and Jared decides to follow his lead.

It's easier that way, anyway. 

They live together, work together, and Jensen is his best friend. There's a lot at risk, things that have to be considered beyond the mere fact that Jared is attracted to Jensen. Jensen might not even feel the same way, or he might and things could still get messed up, and it's _Jensen_. If something happened, there's no way it wouldn't be serious, and Jared feels like things with Sandy just ended. He was going to _marry_ her and even if they're both fine with the break-up, he feels like he should need more time. 

The fact that he thinks maybe he doesn't, wouldn't if only Jensen pushed this thing between them, is more than a little scary.

+

Kim dies at the end of January and production shuts down for the day.

Jared's getting ready for his morning run when he gets the call from Kripke. His knees go weak and he sinks back down on his bed, listening to Eric's somber voice. He promises to tell Jensen, that they'll both show up on set later that day. 

After he hangs up, he just sits for a moment, staring at the wall. They've known for a while, and yet it happened so fast Jared's head is spinning and he feels like he can't breathe. It's only when Sadie comes and nudges his hand that he's startled out of his thoughts. 

The short path to Jensen's room seems endless, every step an effort. It's when he reaches Jensen's bed that he realizes he has no idea how to tell him. Jensen admired Kim like very few other people in his life. 

With a shaking hand, Jared lifts Jensen's blankets and crawls into bed with him. He starts crying before Jensen is awake enough to be fully alert.

"What's wrong? Jared, what's wrong?" Jensen asks, his voice rough with sleep and alarmed.

Jared fists his hands in Jensen's t-shirt and tells him, voice quiet and rough, his throat feeling too dry and his chest too tight.

That morning, they don't get out of bed for hours.

+

The rest of the week drags by. The set is quieter and Jared can't remember the last time the mood was that somber.

Jared breathes a sigh of relief when they get to go home on Friday night. It's late, close to midnight, but instead of going to bed they light a fireplace in the living-room and Jensen pours a healthy amount of expensive whiskey into two tumblers. The bottle stays out on the table and they both know they're going to get incredibly drunk. 

"To Kim," Jensen proposes and Jared echoes the words. They toss the first whiskey back and sip the second more slowly. 

When Jensen pours them the third one, Jared brings his legs up and turns sideways, wedging his toes between Jensen's thigh and the couch. "I threw all your cigarettes away," he admits, wiggling his toes and swirling the whiskey around in the glass. 

Jensen makes a surprised noise. 

"I went through your trailer and the jackets you usually wear when you go out and the messenger bag you take onto flights with you," Jared adds.

Jensen cups the back of Jared's calf and squeezes it. "Okay." 

"And if you buy new ones, I'll kill you." 

"Okay," Jensen repeats, softer.

+

January gives way to February.

Jared sends Sandy flowers for Valentine's day, a pretty bouquet in soft pink and blue, and then sunflowers to Genevieve and chocolate to his mother. 

Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday, and Jared intends not to do anything, but then Jensen tells him to get dressed so he can take him out to dinner. 

There's steak and good wine and Jared orders a crème brûlée that's to die for for dessert. "You make a good Valentine," he says, stealing a piece of chocolate cake from Jensen's plate. 

"You're so easy, Padalecki. I didn't even have to get you presents," Jensen teases, and he nudges his plate a little further toward the middle of the table. Jared smiles at him and thinks how much he fucking loves him. 

"This is better than presents."

+

The weeks after Valentine's Day are a blur. They're working hard. Sam is more challenging to play than ever before and Jared enjoys it, but it's exhausting too. The tension between Sam and Dean is building, and more days than not Jared feels drained when he goes home late in the evening.

They're working the weekend of Jensen's birthday, so Jensen cancels all his plans in L.A. for Sunday and tells all his friends they'll celebrate in April. Saturday night, they go out with a few local friends, and cast and crew. 

Jared buys Jensen shots, but switches them both to non-alcoholic drinks before either of them can get too drunk. "You're not spending your actual birthday puking your guts out and telling me you hate me for letting you drink," he says.

"That happened _once_ ," Jensen retorts, but he doesn't protest when the next glass in his hand is water. 

On Sunday, Jared sets the table for a late breakfast, sticks a candle in the chocolate muffin he bought at the bakery they always go to, and arranges a small pile of presents on the table next to Jensen's plate. There isn't much – a couple of things Jensen's family sent to Vancouver and Jared's own – but Jensen looks pleased when he sits down and starts peeling away the wrapping paper. 

He thanks Jared profusely for the leather jacket Jared knew he would love and the – probably horribly overpriced – wine cooler, and laughs when he rips the paper off a Batman Lego set.

"Dude, you know this is for kids, right?" he asks and Jared waves him off. 

"Everyone always says it's important not to lose your inner child when you get old. Figured you could use a little help with that." 

Jensen smiles and shakes his head, says, "I thought you were keeping me young, kid?" 

Jared's lips twitch up into a smile and he shrugs, "But Lego can't hurt."

Jensen doesn't disagree. 

He spends what feels like half of the day on the phone to his friends and family, while Jared putters around the house and plays with the dogs. In the afternoon, they assemble the Lego set, which takes an embarrassingly long time, and Jared clears a place for it on the mantle. Later, they order pizza and watch a movie. 

It's nothing special, almost like any other Sunday, but Jensen looks happy.

+

It starts snowing that week, big heavy flakes coming down and blanketing everything in white.

It snowed over the holidays and they missed it, but since then it's only been brief snowfalls here and there, nothing bad enough to really stick.

Jared skips his runs and works out in the gym in the garage instead, and it's a small price to pay for the white, untouched scenery outside. After taking the dogs for a quick walk the first morning he builds a snowman in the front yard. Jensen laughs when he sees it as they leave for work later. 

"It's a masterpiece," Jared declares. "I'm calling him Benson Freckles." 

"Fuck you," Jensen says. He punches him in the shoulder, but laughs harder. 

When they get back from filming that night, Jensen switches on the porch light, gets them both gloves and they build a second snowman next to the first, this one a couple of inches taller. 

"You get to name this one," Jared says when they're done. 

"Sasquatch," Jensen says and Jared huffs. 

"That's not nice. I came up with a great name. Sasquatch sucks." 

Jensen takes off his scarf and loops it around both snowmen, tying a loose knot at the front. "Yeah, well, Sasquatch is kinda an idiot. But Benson loves him anyway."

+

"If Sam and Dean don't get their shit together next season, I'm quitting. Retiring from acting and moving to Hawaii," Jensen says. He kicks Dean's heavy boots off and sits down on the couch in Jared's trailer with a sigh. The snow of the previous week has melted to slush and the floor is covered in muddy, wet footprints. Even Jensen has given up on keeping things clean and tidy.

Jared hands him a cookie, fresh from the catering tent, and Jensen takes it. He pulls his legs up to sit cross-legged, his feet, clad in thick woolen socks, tugged under his thighs. 

"Will you take me with you?" Jared asks, nudging him. 

"Dude," Jensen says and breaks off a piece of the cookie, stuffing it in his mouth. "Of course. We'll get a house by the sea, and it'll be nothing but sunning, surfing, and drinks on the beach." 

"Sounds good," Jared says and Jensen nods. 

"We should do that this summer, you know? Go somewhere together." 

"We've got conventions coming up overseas," Jared replies. 

"Yeah, no, that's not the same. I mean go somewhere just the two of us, nothing work related. We could rough it and go camping somewhere, or get a cabin for a few days. No other people allowed." 

Jared nods, then laughs. "So, kinda what we do most weekends." 

"Kinda," Jensen admits. 

Jared grins. "I'm in."

+

The last week of filming, Jared takes Genevieve out the one afternoon they're both not needed on set. They have coffee and then wander through the streets of downtown Vancouver before they both decide it's too cold.

"You're going to come visit us up here sometimes, right?" Jared asks. 

"Only during the warmer months," Genevieve says. She pulls him into a tiny store that sells trendy accessories and jewelry. 

"So, never?" Jared asks.

"Probably not. But hey, maybe Ruby's going to be resurrected. Or her meatsuit's long lost twin shows up."

"Weirder shit has happened on this show," Jared concedes. 

Genevieve smiles at him before picking up a necklace. "I'm sure we'll see each other this summer in L.A. We'll have lunch or dinner sometime; Jensen should come too." 

Jared shrugs. "Sounds good. There are a couple of conventions overseas this summer and we're going on vacation for a while." 

"We?" Genevieve repeats, and looks up at Jared, the necklace forgotten. 

"Jensen and I. As friends," he stresses, and Genevieve looks exasperated. 

"You know what the problem is?" she asks. "You both are moving as fast as slugs. No, slower than slugs. Slugs are fucking fast compared to you and Jensen."

"It's not a race," Jared argues, and Genevieve gives him a look that clearly says Jared is an idiot.

+

Jared is reheating Chinese leftovers from the day before when Jensen comes home that evening, looking beat.

"You're early," Jared says. "How was filming?" 

"Good. We got things done pretty quickly, but I'm tired. Last weeks, man, they're the worst." 

"Yeah, I'm sleeping for three days straight once we wrap," Jared agrees and gets a second bowl from the cupboard. 

Jensen leans against the counter. "How was your afternoon with Genevieve?" 

"Fine," Jared says. He scoops half of the leftovers into the second bowl, picking out a few extra shrimp because they're Jensen's favorite. 

"She thinks we'll go crazy if we go somewhere where there's just sun and the beach," he adds, handing Jensen his bowl. "She says we're the kind of people who need things to do." 

Jensen looks thoughtful, puts the bowl down, and kisses Jared. It's a dry, soft press of lips on lips, Jensen's hand cupping his neck and Jared barely has time to kiss him back before Jensen pulls away again. 

Jared feels the ghost of the touch on his lips, like an imprint. 

"Tell me that was okay," Jensen says, _murmurs_. Jared lets out a laugh. 

"Yeah. Hell yeah," he says and Jensen kisses him again. His fingers twist in Jared's hair, tug, and Jared presses his own fingers against Jensen's hips and opens his mouth under Jensen's.

+

The wrap party, as every year, is a big event. A bar is rented out for the night and everyone from the cast and crew who can make it crams into the space. Jared mingles and nurses a few beers, turning down all but two shots. It's late, but not too late by the time he and Jensen get a cab back to their place.

"For our own wrap party," Jensen murmurs into his ear as they say goodbye to everyone. Jared's smile becomes strained and he rushes through the last goodbyes. 

They're barely through the door to Jared's bedroom before they start undressing, hands tugging at clothes while they kiss. It's only been a couple of days and Jared is already addicted to the feel of Jensen's lips on his. 

He ends up sprawled out on the bed in nothing but boxer-briefs. Jensen straddles him, presses kisses to Jared's jaw, his chin, his throat. "Fuck, Jay," he murmurs into Jared's skin. "You're so fucking gorgeous."

Jared pulls him back up into a kiss, impatient now to speed things up and get to the main event. He scratches his fingernails gently down Jensen's naked back, grinning when Jensen arches into the touch and groans. He likes that Jensen is just as affected as he is, just as eager.

"You've done this before, right?" Jensen asks, pulling away for a moment. He kisses the corner of Jared's mouth, nuzzles Jared's stubbled jaw. 

"Before Sandy, yeah," Jared replies, and there's a bit of hesitation in his voice. It's been a while and his nerves are mixing with anticipation. 

"I'll go slow, babe," Jensen promises. The nickname makes warmth pool in Jared's stomach, eyes fluttering close. Jensen pulls him into another kiss, coaxes Jared's lips part and slides his tongue in, kissing him all deep and dirty. His hands trails down Jared's side, his palms rough and warm against Jared's skin. Jared arches up into the touch.

Jensen keeps kissing him, touching him, and it's not long before Jared is hard, the tip of his cock wet with precome. Jensen sucks a hickey onto Jared's hip while he slides slick fingers back behind Jared's balls, circles Jared's hole until Jared is moaning and pushing back, the sensations ending sparks up his spine. Jensen presses in only then, and Jared spreads his legs wider, feels the way his body gives way for Jensen. The first finger is easy, the touch familiar even after all these years, but Jensen takes his time to prep Jared anyway. He distracts Jared with his mouth and soft words as he adds a second, then a third finger. It burns a little, but it's not unpleasant and Jared remembers what's to come, how intense it can be, so he tries to relax.

"You're so amazing," Jensen whispers, curling his fingers inside of Jared and rubbing against his prostate. Jared keens, heart hammering in his chest, and Jensen licks a strip up Jared's cock, sucks the head into his mouth, as he continues to stretch him.

"Please. Jensen, please," he babbles, and Jensen pulls off him, out of him.

"Sure you're ready?" he asks, his hand rubbing Jared's hip.

Jared gasps out a short laugh. "Hell yeah," he says, and even if he wasn't, he can't wait. Jensen's cock is big, in all ways, and Jared wants to feel him inside of him, filling him. 

Jensen nods and grabs a condom. He slides the rubber down his dick, slicks himself up with lube. "Like this?" Jensen asks, and Jared nods, lifting his legs up around Jensen's waist.

Jensen cups his face, drawing him into a kiss, before he positions himself with one hand around his cock. Jared feels the first nudge of Jensen's cock against his hole, feels the pressure build as Jensen pushes, and then the head slides in. Jared bites down on his bottom lip, groans. It burns a little, like Jared knew it would, Jensen's cock thicker than his fingers, but it's a good burn, licks of pleasure mixing in with the slight pain.

Jensen meets his eyes, cheeks flushed and beads of sweat on his forehead, and Jared gives him an encouraging nod. Jensen presses in deeper, deeper, and this time he doesn't stop until he's all the way in. 

"You feel so good, Jay," Jensen says, lips parting in a soft moan. Jared clenches around him, feels every inch of Jensen inside him, filling him perfectly.

"Move," he grits, and Jensen nuzzles his jaw, moving his hips. It's small movements at first, Jensen rocking in and out, until his thrusts get smoother, deeper. Jared throws his head back and groans when Jensen's cock drags against Jared's prostate. 

"Oh fuck," he gasps. "Again. Do that again."

Jensen grins, panting, and fucks into him harder, pushing Jared closer and closer to the edge until it's too much. Jared comes with a shout, hot white pleasure shooting through him, his whole body going taut. Jensen snaps his hips into Jared a few more times, Jared's whole body tingling and buzzing with pleasure, and Jensen groans, freezing deep inside Jared. 

He melts on top of Jared, breathing harshly. 

"Fuck," Jared gasps out, and Jensen nods, placing one, two sloppy kisses to Jared's jaw. He rolls off him, pulling out carefully, and draws Jared into his arms.

+

Jared wakes up slowly the next morning. It's warm under the covers, comfortable.

Jensen's arm is resting heavily on Jared's stomach, his knee nudged between Jared's. He's snoring a little, his open mouth mashed against Jared's shoulder. 

It's a good way to wake up.

+

"I'm thinking somewhere not so sunny and hot after all," Jared says, folding a t-shirt that might just be Jensen's and putting it in his suitcase. Their flight to Australia, their first convention overseas that spring, leaves later that afternoon and Jared, despite Jensen's numerous prodding, still isn't finished packing.

Jensen, sitting next to the suitcase on the bed with his legs crossed, laughs softly. "You change your mind every five minutes." 

"Think about it," Jared insists and goes to pull a dark button-down out of his closet. "When it's super hot you kind of just want to lie in the shade or find the next pool." 

"Which is what you wanted, moron," Jensen points out, and snatches the button-down shirt from Jared's hand. He shakes it out, refolds it neatly, and places it on top of the other shirts. 

"That was before," Jared says. "That's not what I want our first vacation together to be. We can do that any time, with anyone. We should go somewhere quiet, somewhere nice. And, you know, somewhere where I won't feel sweaty and gross the whole time and actually will want to get naked and have sex with you." 

Jensen smiles. "Fine. We'll look for someplace romantic."

"I didn't say it had to be _romantic_ ," Jared protests, but he knows Jensen can see right through the lie. Truth is, Jared may not want candles and flowers and cheesy music, but he's a sentimental guy. Jensen knows this.

Jensen gets up from the bed and walks around it until he stands in front of Jared. He rests his hands on Jared's hips, squeezing them, and brushes his lips against Jared's jaw.

"You know, I like the cabin idea we had," he says. "We can take the dogs, go hiking. Maybe we'll find some place with a lake so we can fish and swim."

"Maybe a cabin with a fireplace," Jared suggests, smiling widely now.

"A fireplace it is, Jay," Jensen agrees and pulls Jared down into a kiss.

Jared has a feeling it's going to be a good break.


End file.
